Say It Will Be So Joe

In the last week, I made rack of lamb and quoted Shakespeare in an all-associate email.

To make this the most unlikely of trifectas, I will now poke at the third rail and write about politics.

Since the case against Donald Trump is so vast, let’s focus on white nationalism and conspiracy theories.

In 2017, white nationalists held rallies on consecutive days in Charlottesville, Virginia; this led to counter protests and violence. Trump’s initial comment read in part, “we condemn in the strongest possible terms this egregious display of hatred, bigotry, and violence on many sides—on many sides.” This caused immediate outrage and Republican senator Marco Rubio tweeted, “Very important for the nation to hear @potus describe events in #Charlottesville for what they are, a terror attack by #whitesupremacists.”

Two days later, reading off a teleprompter, and appearing as the late Charles Krauthammer memorably put it as if it was a “hostage tape,” Trump said he condemned in the strongest possible terms this egregious display of hatred. The next day, Trump negated any goodwill from his words of the day before by again seeming to look for ways to find a moral equivalence between the two sides.

As part of his explanation for why he did not say more initially, Trump talked about needing to “know the facts.” This is particularly rich from a man who for his entire life has shown a willingness to be, charitably, loose with the truth, and who led the charge that Barack Obama was not born in this country.

From the birther conspiracy theory, let’s move to QAnon, which has rapidly increased in popularity in recent months. The Wall Street Journal defines it as, “a far right-wing, loosely organized network and community of believers who embrace a range of unsubstantiated beliefs. These views center around the idea that a cabal of Satan-worshipping pedophiles—mainly consisting of what they see as elitist Democrats, politicians, journalists, entertainment moguls and other institutional figures—have long controlled much of the so-called “deep state” government, which they say seeks to undermine President Trump, mostly with aid of media and entertainment outlets.”

This is how Kevin Roose describes it in the New York Times. “QAnon is the umbrella term for a sprawling set of internet conspiracy theories that allege, falsely, that the world is run by a cabal of Satan-worshiping pedophiles who are plotting against Mr. Trump while operating a global child sex-trafficking ring. QAnon followers believe that this clique includes top Democrats including Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and George Soros, as well as a number of entertainers and Hollywood celebrities like Oprah Winfrey, Tom Hanks, Ellen DeGeneres and religious figures including Pope Francis and the Dalai Lama. Many of them also believe that, in addition to molesting children, members of this group kill and eat their victims in order to extract a life-extending chemical from their blood. According to QAnon lore, Mr. Trump was recruited by top military generals to run for president in 2016 in order to break up this criminal conspiracy, end its control of politics and the media, and bring its members to justice.”

Asked about the conspiracy, Trump said, “I’ve heard these are people that love our country. So I don’t know, really, anything about it other than they do, supposedly, like me.”

Thomas Friedman started a recent New York Times column by asking what you would do as a parent if your child came home from school and said, “President Obama ordered the killing of the U.S. Special Forces team that supposedly killed Osama bin Laden. My teacher said Bin Laden is actually still alive, that the guy the Navy SEALs killed was a ‘body double.’ He also claimed that Obama’s aides got Iran to send Bin Laden to Pakistan so Obama could have a ‘trophy kill.’ What’s a trophy kill? My teacher said he had heard all of this somewhere on the internet and he just thought he’d pass it along to our class. Mom, Dad, is this true?”

These are all things the President of the United States recently tweeted or retweeted.

Let’s close this out with two quotes. During the midst of a challenging summer for our country marked by racial unrest and COVID-19, former Trump Defense Secretary Jim Mattis wrote, “Donald Trump is the first president in my lifetime who does not try to unite the American people — does not even pretend to try. Instead he tries to divide us. We are witnessing the consequences of three years of this deliberate effort. We are witnessing the consequences of three years without mature leadership. We can unite without him, drawing on the strengths inherent in our civil society. This will not be easy, as the past few days have shown, but we owe it to our fellow citizens; to past generations that bled to defend our promise; and to our children.

Biden made a particularly strong closing argument at the end of a recent 60 Minutes interview.

“Look, there’s a lot of reasons people are upset, a lot of good reasons. All he wants to do is take that sort of subliminal fear out there and say it’s because of that guy or because of that woman. That’s not who we are as a country. I mean, this is not who we are. It’s not our value system. We hold these truths to be self-evident. We’ve never met it. We’ve never met the standard, but we’ve always gone further and further and further toward inclusion. It’s the first president who’s trying to shut it down. We cannot sustain this democracy that way. We’re so much better than this.”

Say it will be so Joe, say it will be so.  

"At Least I Get to Write the Headline"

The first sentence of the Facebook post where he announced his news was classic Bill Pemstein.

“At least I get to write the headline,” he wrote.

So was the rest of the post by my friend and former colleague.

“I have been diagnosed with ALS. Lou Gehrig’s disease,” he wrote. “It will one day kill me. I hated acne in college. It went away. I hated ulcerative colitis (30 years). They cured it. My walking is off. I’ve fallen. I have a wonderful physical therapist nearby who is helping me tremendously. Not feeling sorry for myself.”

In one paragraph, you get a glimpse into his sense of humor, the way his mind works, his raw honesty, and his positive, determined attitude.

“Would I invite him to the Life of Riley Party?”

In 2002, I was a correspondent for the Daily Herald and Bill was with the Pioneer Press. We covered many of the same games and quickly struck up a friendship. Talking with Bill, whether about sports, music or his family, was always a trip.

Each summer, he organized a group to take in Brewers games on weekday evenings in Milwaukee. The man thought of everything. From leaving enough time at the start to drink a wide selection of eclectic beers in the Miller Park parking lot, to always making time to stop at Leon’s Frozen Custard on the way back.

Before he moved to Illinois, Bill worked in sales for the Baltimore Orioles. His stories about those days were legendary, made even all the more memorable because all three of his sons were named after Orioles.

None of those sons were named Cal, Jim or Eddie; instead, it was Brady, Riley and Nolan.

I didn’t learn why until years later when he told me that his wife was on board with naming after Orioles players as long as they were Irish names. So his three sons received names in honor of Brady Anderson, Matt Riley and Joe Nolan, respectively.

Riley had a difficult birth and to celebrate his health, for many years, the Pemstein family would throw a “Life of Riley” party over Labor Day Weekend. I looked forward to the party and could tell how much it meant to Bill and his family.

I once asked Bill about a fellow sportswriter who covered some of the same games and I’ll never forget his answer. “He seems like a good guy but I’m not sure if I’d invite him to a Life of Riley party.”

I’m so glad I made the cut for the party and for our friendship.

Pioneer Press Days

Bill covered high school sports in his own unique way. Too many stories to recount so let’s pick two that stand out in particular.

For many years before the state high school playoffs in basketball, Bill would write his annual trade column. In it, he would propose hypothetical trades.  For example, ship a guard to a team that needed some ball-handling and quickness, and in return the team would receive some needed size.

One year, Bill received a call from a parent saying that his daughter was in tears because she believed she had really been traded and would have to start going to a new school. The parent thought this was an insult to his daughter.

Bill’s reply was classic. He only trades good players!

The second one was the time an accomplished football player became a high school coach and told Bill his team would go to the playoffs. Bill replied they should worry about winning a game, not making the playoffs. They bet a steak dinner and sure enough the team went 0-9. The steak dinner was paid up but there was some tension over whether the bet included wine. It was a triumphant night for Bill.

Those Orioles and Throwing Stone(s)

Every author needs a muse.

For some, it’s a beautiful woman or a striking piece of art. For Bill, it was a rather average pitcher better known for his candid color commentary, who, in 1980, for the Orioles (of course), put together one of the most surreal seasons in MLB history.

Stone went 25-7 with a 3.23 ERA, won 14 consecutive games, and retired all nine batters he faced in the All-Star game. Throwing his curve more than 50 percent of the time, Stone notched more single-season victories than any pitcher in franchise history. For his career, Stone was 107-93 with a 3.97 ERA.

After his playing days ended, Stone became better known for his broadcasting career, first for the Cubs and now for the White Sox.

“If I had moved to Seattle or Missouri, I never would have thought about it,” Bill told me for an article I wrote in 2011 for the Pioneer Press. “I would watch him on television and think I had to write a book about that incredible season.”

Bill's research into the 1980 season began in the early 2000s. He ordered out-of-state newspapers and devoured websites such as Retrosheet.org and Baseball-Reference.com. In 2003, he made the trip to Baltimore and photocopied “every stinking article from the Baltimore Sun.” He hired our mutual friend T.J. Brown to edit the book and self-published it.

In addition to some book signings, a major highlight for Bill came when the Babe Ruth Museum in Baltimore purchased 12 books.

Tunes and More Tunes

Bill always referred to the basement of his house as “the shrine.” It was filled with Orioles memorabilia, idiosyncratic drinks and more music than you could imagine.

He had a 200-CD stereo and he needed every bit of it. He was an Ipod first adopter and made sure he used every single bit of his storage. When he got to 99,999 songs, he was not ready to stop.

“I remember the person he talked to at Apple was astounded he had that many songs,” Nolan said.

In addition to his vinyl, CDs and digital music library, Bill kept hundreds of old cassette tapes. The older two boys have their own musical tastes but Nolan is just like his old man. That means high on Nolan’s playlist is Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band, Al Stewart, Stevie Wonder and “many musicians no one has ever heard of.”

“That’s why I’ll never connect with my generation,” Nolan said with a smile. “One of my friends popped in a tape and wondered what was going on?”

His Boys

I always loved the pride and joy Bill took in his three children. Although each boy has a different favorite team (White Sox, Red Sox and Mets, respectively), they inherited his love of baseball. Of course, that love also came from their mom who was quite a softball pitcher. In fact, one of Bill and Eileen’s first dates was a pickup softball games with some friends from the Pioneer Press.

All three boys played baseball and Bill’s commentary on their games was always much anticipated. Nolan tells a story about the time he was in a jam and before a pitch his father shouted loudly,” throw your slider.”

“I never had a slider,” Nolan said with a smile. “That got me to laugh right on the mound.”

Nolan points out proudly that at Lake Zurich High School where he will be a junior, there is a wall of framed stories from local newspapers. Each time he walks by, he knows that his dad’s byline is featured.

Nolan admires the way his dad continues to make the most of each day.

“He works with his physical therapist, he watches reruns of classic MLB games, listens to music and watches movies,” Nolan said. “A lot of people would give up but not him.”

Bill, I hope you read this with an MLB classic ballgame on in the background, while sipping a microbrew and listening to the great, great Nils Lofgren.

That would be the best kind of multitasking.

The Five for May 31, 2020 – Everything Coming Up Liam

1. Liam and I finished reading the first Harry Potter book earlier today. Even though I care nothing for witches, wizards or fantasy, it was as good as advertised. For the people that find witches, wizards and fantasy fascinating, I can only imagine how much they enjoyed it.

This was the longest book I’ve read to Liam, and it had me thinking about, Patty, one of Liam’s first teachers. He had just started preschool and we received a report that his first morning went so well. That same afternoon, we got a call from a different teacher that Liam was crying because he was scared of nap time. At his school, the teachers somehow pull out these tiny, individual cots that all children sleep in or “rest quietly” during nap time.

I had a lot of sympathy for Liam. I went to what we called nursery school for a half day so there were no naps. Still, I had a lot of anxiety and it took me weeks to feel comfortable in the new environment.

The next day we got a call from the same teacher. She said that they would be able to give Liam some time to adjust but this was a prep period for her. It was sort of left unsaid this couldn’t go on forever.

Then, Patty stepped in. She spent extra time with Liam the next two days, welcoming him to the school and helping him feel more comfortable at nap time. By the end of the week, Liam was asleep minutes into nap time and it was never an issue again.

The nap issue may have resolved itself on its own, but we’ll never know. What we do know is her kindness and warmth helped Liam become comfortable in a new environment, and he had a great experience at the school for the next two-plus years.

So how does this relate to Harry Potter? We became friends with Patty and her husband John. Their family loves horse racing and we met them one beautiful Saturday at Arlington Park. One of their son’s, who worked at Arlington, even gave Liam a special tour.

I’m not sure how it came up, but Patty told us that she read every word of the Harry Potter series to her two wonderful boys. That’s quite something but I’m not surprised. Whether it’s nap time or reading time, Patty is amazing.

2. Liam started to enjoy watching the Packers this year and he likes watching football videos. He is definitely picking up the lingo. I threw him a pass Saturday and he made a bunch of cuts for a touchdown. He pointed at something on the ground and said, “Look, I broke that leaf’s ankle.”

3. We were on a bike ride earlier this week, and Liam commented that someone we passed, “looked just like Seattle coach Pete Carroll.” He was right; he did.

Of course, the man didn’t act like Carroll because that would have meant running around with a goofy grin and passing on second-and-goal at the 1 with 26 seconds left in the Super Bowl! Couldn’t resist.

4. My brother Mike and his wife Gillian gave us a bottle of Cherry Bomb hot sauce.

Liam asked me to read the label after he tried it. The label reads in part that the sauce, “explodes with complex flavors.” Liam looked thoughtfully and said, “I guess I’m not old enough yet to appreciate complex flavors.”

5. Liam and I were watching golf and a player’s shot found the sand. Or, as Liam referred to it, a sand pit. I told him, Liam, it’s called a sand trap or bunker.

He responded that, “In my world, I call it a sand pit.”

Sometimes, it’s Liam’s world and we’re all just living in it. We’ll let that example of Liam Logic walk us off.

This Is Not Water

Earlier this week, I wrote about the cheap hats you buy in Florida and take to other places, as well as an aquatic ninja warrior experience with Liam in the Adriatic Sea.

This had me thinking about some other travel stories and one that came to mind right away was our first trip to Beijing with Liam. It is memorable all right but also infamous.

Liam was young, couldn’t have been more than 3-years-old. On a Sunday morning, we were about to have an early lunch at Xiaoli’s mom’s house. Her mom was preparing the meal and Xiaoli’s sister and brother-in-law were there as well.

We realized that we were out of bottled water and I was drafted to go to a nearby store that we had shopped at previously.

Given my limited sense of direction, not going to lie, I was feeling pretty good about myself when I found the store without any issues. I asked the cashier where the bottled water was and he pointed in the general direction. 

I wasn’t positive the cashier knew any English but he had responded affirmatively so maybe he understood. There were quite a few choices at varying prices, all which seemed a touch expensive.

I should point out here, probably not surprisingly, that I have no aptitude for currency translations. The bottled water seemed expensive, but it was possible I did not convert the price correctly. Regardless, it wasn’t that much money and we needed the water.

So I paid more than I thought I should and returned to the house. One other mitigating point for what transpired next – beyond my interactions with the cashier – was that no one in Xiaoli’s house commented on the purchase.

We started eating and pretty soon Liam asked for water. I poured him a glass and he instantly spat it out. I wanted to reprehend him but his face was still in shock.

I decided maybe I should try the water myself.

It only took one sip to realize this was not water but cheap Chinese alcohol. I can only imagine what was going on in Liam’s little head.

So, the next time you are looking for the best Chinese alcohol to serve your young children, you know how to find me.

Reliving An Iconic Home Run

I enjoyed the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel’s 50 in 50 Series, which ranked Wisconsin’s greatest sports moments over the last half-century.

Lists and rankings are inherently subjective. I remember when I worked as a reporter and picked all-area teams for high school sports. Some of the picks were obvious, but sometimes you were making a decision on two evenly accomplished players and there was only room for one.

I used to agonize ranking the top teams in weekly polls. Especially early in the season, you had so little to go on and may not have even seen many teams play. I still chuckle about the time I had ranked a team in the top ten but not as high as the team had hoped for, and the coach said after that was the motivating factor for its victory that day.

So back to the 50 in 50. Obviously, a ton of work went into this so kudos to the paper and sports writer JR Radcliffe for writing all 50 pieces; he is also writing the next 10 that just missed the list. This is a huge project and one he excelled at.

I also liked how the criteria was spelled out. “These are singular moments. You’re supposed to remember where you were when they happened.”

One random observation. With no sports going on for most of this stretch, why did one person write every story? For example, why wouldn’t the two Brewers beat writers handle some of the Brewers stories, particularly since they covered some of the moments for the paper. I’m sure they had plenty of rich stuff left in the notebook they weren’t able to share at the time because of space constraints. Same for the other sports.

Anyway, I want to write a bit about one moment that did not make the top 50 but did make the 10 that just missed the list. My  intent is not to criticize the omission (OK, maybe a little), but near the top of my list was Brandon Woodruff’s home run in game 1 of the 2018 NL Championship series. It is hard to imagine any Brewers fan forgetting that moment.

I was at Miller Park that night with my dad, brother and his son Roger. The Brewers trailed 1-0 and Woodruff, a relief pitcher who had just worked a scoreless third, was due up first. It’s not as if being down one run, even against the great Clayton Kershaw was insurmountable, but there was definitely nervous tension in the crowd.

What happened next almost defies description. Woodruff, who bats left-handed, facing an all-time lefty, clobbered a 2-2 pitch for a no-doubt solo homer to right-center. With the possible exception of the Easter Sunday rally in 1987, I’m not sure I’ve ever been more excited at a baseball game.

A big piece of it was the surprise and the stakes. No one was expecting a pitcher, someone with 10 prior at bats during the season, to hit a home run. Not just a home run, but a home run off a legend. The Journal Sentinel article included a fun stat that Woodruff was the second pitcher to homer off a former MVP in the postseason and the first since 1924.

According to MLB.com, this was the first time Kershaw allowed a home run to a left-handed hitting pitcher. Woodruff also became the third reliever in baseball history to homer in the postseason.

Woodruff told the Journal Sentinel he knew it was gone when he saw centerfielder Cody Bellinger pull up in front of the wall. “That’s about the time I started rounding the bases, and the emotion started coming out.”

Woodruff looked back at the Brewers dugout during his trip around the bases and he used all of his 6-foot-4, 215-pounds to dispense high fives. As Lorenzo Cain said in the same story, “he almost broke my arm. If you look at the replay, it was a pretty strong high-five.”

Oh, Lorenzo, we’ll get to that replay soon enough.

Woodruff’s homer electrified the crowd and the dugout and the Brewers were off to the races. The Brewers scored another run in the third and Woodruff worked a scoreless fourth (4Ks over 2 innings). The Brewers chased Kershaw from the game in the bottom of the inning with three more runs.

The Brewers led 6-1 going into the eighth but needed all of those runs in a 6-5 victory. The Brewers were  suddenly three victories away from their first trip to the World Series since 1982.

After the game, Mike Moustakas said Woodruff, “is a legend in Milwaukee right now.”

Moose, truer words have never been spoken. 

I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve watched the replay, but what’s one more?

All that’s left to do now is for Woodruff to walk us off.

Croatian Ninja Aquatic Warrior ...

Or as I called him that day, the Croatian Sensation Ninja Aquatic Warrior.

Last year at this time, Liam was obsessed with American Ninja Warrior. He’s not currently obsessed, but it’s even money he will be when new episodes of the show finally return.

In August, we were in Croatia in the town of Zadar on vacation with Xiaoli’s mom and sister. On one of our last days on the beach that feeds into the Adriatic Sea – which apparently borders Croatia in addition to Albania – we noticed some type of warrior course set up in the water.

Of course, Liam couldn’t wait to try it. I did not share his enthusiasm for participating but couldn’t wait to see him take his shot. So, the two of us walked on excruciating rocks for more than a minute. Then, we started swimming and about 50 yards later we arrived at this obstacle course, an inflatable paradise on water.

Just lifting ourselves up from the water onto the inflatable was challenging and that was not even a true obstacle. 

What happened next was fun and fairly amazing. There were children of various ages spread out and also some people who appeared to be in their early 20's. There may have been a lifeguard by the beach but everyone seemed to be on their own.

As a result, everyone took care of each other.

If someone fell off an obstacle, and falling off meant finding yourself in the Adriatic Sea, people stopped what they were doing to make sure that person could get back up. 

There were a few kids not in groups and Liam found a boy from Sweden who was about his age and the two became fast friends. They went round and round the course, figuring out their favorite obstacles. Although it looked exhausting, it was a long while before they tired.

It will also be a long time before Liam forgets that wonderful memory of his time in Croatia.

The same is true for his Dad.

Florida Fashion

In normal times, tourism is big business in Florida, a backbone of the state’s economy.

For two years and a couple of international trips, my family served as unpaid endorsers of Florida. Not because of a splashy marketing campaign or a particular affinity for the state.

It can all be explained by $5 hats.

First, some hat background. I’ve never been, well, a natural when it comes to hats. To start, I never knew how to break in baseball caps. I still remember my freshman baseball coach on one of our first day of practices grabbing my hat off my head and working in the brim, “so he would be able to look at me.” As an aside, coach and I were each a baseball rarity by throwing with our left hands and batting from the right side. We had a great relationship and that was one of my all-time fun seasons for baseball.

Back to hats, though. Over the years, I kind of, sort of, figured out how to break in a hat but struggled to keep them in good shape and also find ones that fit well. Throw in the fact that I can easily leave a cap outdoors at a tennis court or playground, and you can see it’s a bit of a conundrum.

On a trip to Florida, no surprise, we were in need of extra hats and we walked into a Walgreens. On sale, were cheap hats that had Florida splashed all over. While we were not Florida Superfans, they fit well, protected us from the sun, and the price was more than right.

While I continued to cycle in and out of other hats, the Florida hats remained a constant. We wore them proudly in Chicago, Milwaukee and out of the country as well. No one would pay me to wear their hat or even want me to model it for free, but Xiaoli and Liam are quite cute so it was definitely in Florida’s interest that they took turns rocking those hats.

Ultimately, I lost one hat to salt water and the other to the Loggers Run at Great America. It’s a fair question as to why I was wearing a hat in either situation, and it's a question I do not have a good answer for.

Should cheap hats become a thing in Florida marketing, however, they’ll know who to thank.

And there's no arguing with the ROI.

Whose Pizza Is It Anyway?

After writing about food delivery earlier this month, I couldn’t help but chuckle over the latest oddity in this, apparently, never dull service category.

According to multiple stories, some national chains such as Chuck E. Cheese are selling food under different names on delivery platforms. Chuck E. Cheese uses the name Pasqually’s Pizza & Wings. In the CNN.com article, a spokesperson for the chain said that the brand is wholly separate, the two simply share kitchen space. Applebee’s and Boston Market were two other examples of chains doing something similar.

The CNN.com article includes a fun text exchange between a customer who ordered from Pasqually’s only to suspect it was really a Chuck E. Cheese pizza. This is part of what the customer texted to her Grubhub delivery driver. “It’s good, but it’s totally Chuck E. Cheese pizza! My husband said that the chef character at Chuck E. Cheese is named PASQUALLY so I think they just made up this secondary restaurant for takeout now that they can’t be open.”

The spokesperson said it’s a different pizza which was described as “a more flavorful, more premium pizza experience.”

Wow, two thoughts.

First, what does that say about regular Chuck E. Cheese pizza? Does that make it bland and middling? Second, when did eating pizza become an experience? I realize that experience, like curate, has lost all meaning, but is there any pizza outside of maybe Sicily that could be described this way?

When it comes to the Chuck E. Cheese of my youth, though, I do think the ball crawl might merit the word experience.

Little did I know that many people feel the same way. Vox.com writes that, “there’s something about swimming in a vat of colorful balls that people and animals of all ages find simply delightful." A fascinating, deep-dive from Vox about ball pits walks us off.

Reading Fun

My mom read all the time to my brother and I as kids. Such warm memories when I look back on the number of books she patiently and lovingly narrated.

I’ve enjoyed doing the same with Liam, as we’ve progressed from picture books, to children’s books, to chapter books. When Liam was younger, he would often want to read the same book over and over. Now, we re-read the same book less but we enjoy finding an author and doing a deep dive. And occasionally, he’ll still request the 101th reading of a book he read 100 times before.

It’s special to read books that I enjoyed as a kid and to see that they still hold up and capture the attention of a child. Books like “The Boxcar Children” series, “Danny, The Champion of the World” and Judy Blume’s “Fudge Series all come to mind among others.

I remember how much I liked checking out books from the school library in elementary school and it’s exciting to share in Liam’s excitement when he comes home with a stack of books.

As Liam’s reading progresses, he’s getting into the act himself. I will read most pages of a chapter but I will ask him to read a page or two. It’s exciting to watch him go from sounding out the words a year ago to now pronouncing most of the words correctly and even doing a bit of the acting and voices on occasion.

I’ve noted that when we read a book together, our contributions are the inverse correlation of jigsaw puzzles. Liam finds about 80 percent of the pieces and I would say that’s about what percentage of the reading I do.

We also enjoy audio books, particularly in the car but lately at home as well. I’ve never liked audio books for myself, but it’s fun to see how into the narration and acting Liam gets.

This is another example of something you may not enjoy yourself but do through the eyes and ears of a child.

All right Liam, what should we read and listen to next?

Whatever you choose, I’m looking forward to it.

The Five for May 24, 2020 – Chess, Old-Fashioneds, Fishing and More

The Five returns with some more Sunday reading. Let’s get to it.

1. For several months, my nephew Roger has played chess with Liam once a week over the computer. Roger loves chess and is trying to introduce Liam to the game. I will read this story to Liam and I bet Roger will enjoy as well. The headline says it all: “From Homeless Refugee to Chess Prodigy, 9-year-old Dreams of Becoming Youngest Grandmaster.”

2. Ever since Liam and I started the first Harry Potter book, I’ve been fascinated by the author J.K. Rowling. Technically, I was fascinated with her before but even more so now. So when I came across this story about Rowling tweeting a question about bitcoin, while drinking old-fashioneds (plural), how could I resist? Elon Musk makes a cameo as do the CEOs of “prominent” bitcoin companies.

3. If I could bait a hook, I wouldn’t be writing a blog called Bobproof. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve gone fishing, and each time it took a fishing village to help me with each aspect of the sport (save for casting). Even so, I’ve always enjoyed reading about fishing and admired the patience, dedication and skill it takes. As a kid, I do remember with much help catching a couple of bluegills, and perhaps that’s why I enjoyed this article about how, “shore fishing for bluegills takes on a new shine.” You could also substitute the fishing in here for most other hobbies and it would still resonate.

4. Is the baseball card boom of the late 80s and early 90s coming back? Probably not, but it is interesting to see how no MLB combined with nostalgia is driving up the value of rookie cards for players such as Ken Griffey Jr.

5. Perhaps because I only saw him on those great Lakers teams, I’ve struggled to believe that Kareem Abdul-Jabbar played for the Bucks. I mean I know he did, for six season no less, it just always seemed implausible that he started his career in Milwaukee. This was a fun look at how his skyhook helped the Bucks win a classic game in the NBA Finals.

Diane Boldt Is The Best

A friendly smile, genuine warmth, a hearty laugh and, in winter, a rush to hang your coat.

That is the friendly greeting each and every guest receives when they walk through the doors at Public Communications Incorporated (PCI). The woman behind that smile is Diane Boldt, PCI’s receptionist, who recently celebrated a milestone birthday.

Her birthday had me reflecting on how much she enhanced my experience at PCI. The first time I visited PCI for a job interview, the first person I saw was Diane. Instantly, I could sense that not only was she a good person, but that she was rooting for me. That meant so much.

When my son Liam was born, it almost felt like Diane was his grandmother she was so happy. I would sometimes bring home little knick-knacks that I showed Diane and she always asked the next day how he liked them.

Diane not only befriended each person on staff but she made quite an impression on clients. It was not uncommon for me to go to a client meeting and for someone to ask how Diane was doing or comment how much they enjoyed chatting with her when they called PCI.

In a polarized world, we can all agree that Diane is the best. Happy belated birthday, Diane, and hope you enjoy some thoughts below from some current and former colleagues.

Jill Allread – Diane thrives on bringing joy to others through her loving smile and caring words offered every day despite what’s happening in her life. In her desk, she keeps a box filled with hand-picked greeting cards so she’s prepared to help the PCI team send condolences, congratulations or birthday messages in an instant. Diane is loved by all, and is a touching example of how one can live in grace and with gratitude and inspire others. I appreciate her so much and the light she shines on the world.

Sara Conley – What amazes me about Diane is the size of her heart. She cares so deeply about so many people. I feel very lucky that she has made room for me in her heart over the years. I've almost never seen Diane as happy as the day I told her I was going to be a mom. She couldn't have been happier if I was her own daughter. As the years went by, Diane wanted every bit of news she could get about our little guy. She saved every holiday card we made with his pictures on it. W

When I received a package at work and the contents were for Luca, I would open it at her desk so she could see his new outfit or toy or book. She got such a kick out of being a part of his life, even though it was from afar. And when he came to the office to visit, we got a first-hand glimpse of what it must be like to be one of Diane's grandchildren and adored beyond belief. When Diane started at PCI I was answering the phones and I taught her how to use the phone system. I can't count all the things that Diane taught me over the years but they include the importance of a positive attitude, the power of a smile and the happiness that caring for others can bring to us all. 

Ashley (Mattys) Biladeau – My favorite memory of Diane is how she thought I should create an album of my whistling! I would whistle to myself when I was in the kitchen (not even realizing I was doing it) and she would comment and say how beautiful it was and how I should make an album. What a ray of sunshine she is. :) 

Beth Schlesinger – What really sticks with me about Diane is not something specific she did or said, but how Diane made you feel. First, Diane is the most genuine, sincere person I have ever had the opportunity to work with. She truly cared about each and every PCIer and client. She made you feel special. She recognized every individual and his/her talents. She would tell you how impressed she was with your creativity and leadership. Knowing that I had a 1 1/2 hour commute to the office every day and had two school-aged sons, Diane would often say to me, “I don’t know how you do it.” It meant a lot to know Diane, as a mother herself, understood and appreciated what it meant to be dedicated to your career and your family and do all that you could to succeed at both. If I had to describe in one word how Diane made each of us feel, that word would be “cherished.” And we, in turn, cherish Diane.

Dorothy Pirovano – As I plant lover, I felt compelled to bring in six-foot long window planters filled with healthy green plants to warm up the north-facing windows at the office. When we decided to discontinue the service that provided and cared for our large potted plants, they left them behind and I took it upon myself to make sure they were watered, dead leaves removed and pruned back when needed. I'd do it as early as I could on Monday mornings when the only other person likely to be in the office was Diane.

She decided plant watering should be her job, not the CEO's, and lugged gallon containers of water from one end of the office to the other. It took at least four trips to do the job and Diane carried those heavy gallons with a smile on her face. No matter how early I'd try to be there, she would beat me and I'd have to hustle to fill up containers so she didn't have to do it alone. It was our social time and we began the week by catching up on what happened over the weekend and celebrating the birthdays, anniversaries, performances and special events of each other's families. It also gave her a chance to tell me the news of various people who regularly came to the office - a promotion, retirement or job change for her regulars: the postal worker, UPS or FedEx delivery persons, the building cleaning and security staff. Diane knew them all and cared for each one, just as she cared for the plants (and me).  

Free Pizza

Some of it is generational.

Some of it, I maintain, is common sense. Others, may characterize it, perhaps correctly, as cheapness.

When I worked in downtown Chicago, I sometimes ordered lunch online. No matter how busy I was or what the weather was like, I always walked to pick it up. I could never justify the cost of delivery.

If pressed, or even if not, I felt pretty good about myself – maybe even a touch smug – when I would observe delivery people taking lunches to office buildings throughout the city. 

Of course, if I really wanted to save money, I could have made my lunch at home or limited my 7-Eleven runs. But the point of this post is not my financial inconsistencies, it’s food delivery people!

Which brings us to one of my favorite articles of 2020. It involves food delivery, arbitrage, the peculiar incentives of startup economy, zero interest-rate policy (ZIRP) and demonstrates that there may, indeed, be a free lunch after all.

Or at least free pizza.

Ranjan Roy, one of the co-authors of the Margins Newsletter, wrote a fun, creative and brilliant article. He opened it this way. “If capitalism is driven by a search for profit, the food delivery business confuses the hell out of me. Every platform loses money. Restaurants feel like they’re getting screwed. Delivery drivers are poster children for gig economy problems. Customers get annoyed about delivery fees. Isn’t business supposed to solve problems?”

Roy proceeds to tell a story about a friend of his who owns pizza restaurants. The friend, by choice, did not offer delivery. So why did he receive complaints from customers who said their pizza was delivered cold?

It turned out, without his permission, DoorDash had created a delivery option on his Google Listing. The friend asked Roy what he knew about DoorDash and he replied with this classic line about the business model of many 21^st century aspiring tech disrupters. “Raise a ton of money, lose a ton of money, and just obliterate the basic economics of an industry.”

It gets better.

DoorDash charged $16 for the same pizza the owner listed as $24. Roy writes that based on the way the restaurant’s website was set up, it appeared DoorDash mistakenly used the price for a cheese pizza and applied it to pizza with multiple toppings.

Roy said it was time for his friend to start making pizzas, selling them to DoorDash and start booking $8 of profit per pizza.

He convinced the owner to place an order for 10 pizzas with instructions to deliver them to a friend. The owner charged $160 to his credit card and a DoorDash driver arrived at the restaurant and paid $240 for the pizzas. Roy joked with his friend that he should, “run this arbitrage over and over. You could massively even grow your top-line revenue while netting riskless profit, and maybe even get acquired at an inflated valuation.”

For the next experiment/arbitrage/pizza order, they prepared pizzas with just dough. This would increase the profit even more, provided DoorDash did not catch on.

Surely, DoorDash would, right?

Tear up your trusty econmics texbook and read the whole thing to find the answer. Roy walks us off with what may well be, "the greatest ZIRP story ever told."

The Five for May 21, 2020 – Full Ride

1. Gillian Gosman, my sister-in-law, is the type of English teacher you want teaching your kids. Since 2014, the students of Carmen School of Technology (Northwest Campus) have benefited from Gillian’s love of language. As a teacher and adviser, she strives each day to help give all kids a better chance to succeed.

Two of those students were featured earlier this week on today's TMJ 4. Lio Navarro and Sunny Nguyen, friends since middle school, are their class’s valedictorian and salutatorian, respectively. They will be first generation college students at the University of Iowa where they plan to share the same dorm room.

The kicker? They earned full-ride scholarships. Bravo!

2. As you can surmise, Gillian and Mike are quite the power couple! Mike was quoted in this Journal Sentinel story highlighting ACTS Housing’s work to help low-income renters became first-time homeowners. Be sure to check out the photo gallery as well.

3. Wright Thompson does it again. If the “The Last Dance” documentary only whetted your appetite for No. 23, check out this remarkable feature.

4. This was such a good tribute for the great Fred Willard from some of his peers at Hollywoodreporter.com. Steve Martin tweets that Willard was always, “my comic hero,” and Steve Carell said that Willard was, “the funniest person I’ve ever worked with.” What high praise for someone who was also regarded as a wonderful person. In Hollywood, that might put him in as select company as his comedy did.

5. Less you surmise (twice in one blog!) that Mike and Gillian’s children are slacking off, Roger and George know how to find the limelight as well. Their shoveling skills were featured several years ago in a photo gallery in the Journal Sentinel. Not only are the pictures great (5 and 6 in the photo gallery), but the caption in No. 6 is an all-timer. Thank you to Roger and George for taking time out of their schedules to walk us off.

Emma Girl

Even though she’s a teenager now, she’ll always be Emma girl to me.

Emma Einhorn, 15, is my cousin Dan and Terese’s oldest. For so long at family gatherings – of the group that stayed in or near Milwaukee – my brother was the youngest.

Then came Emma.

Maybe it was that she was so much cuter than Mike, but she had an instant place in my heart.

There’s a lot kids vying for attention at family gatherings now. For those three years, though, it was just Emma. I loved holding her, playing with her, and watching her grow.

At age 3, she was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia and endured two years of chemotherapy. Thankfully, she’s been in full remission for a decade and is happy, healthy and just completing her freshman year of high school.

While she was sick, the Einhorn family connected with Make-A-Wish. Emma knew instantly what her wish would be.

“Disney World was the first thing that came to my mind,” Emma said. “There was no hesitation, only excitement.”

Shortly after completing chemotherapy, Emma and the family were off to Orlando and Disney World. Emma was excited to see the princesses, and she was treated like one for the next week. The family stayed at Give Kids The World Village (GKWV), where ice cream is served any time of day and Minnie Mouse has been known to tuck kids in at night.

At the Disney Parks, a GKWV button provides access to an alternate entrance so families can enjoy the rides and attractions with minimal waiting. 

“They make it as easy as you can imagine,” Dan said. “It was an amazing experience for Emma and our family.”

The Einhorn family became supporters and volunteers for Make-A-Wish-Wisconsin.

This year, Dan and Terese were asked if they would be interested in serving as chairs for Wish Night, Make-A-Wish-Wisconsin’s signature gala, on April 2. Dan and Terese said yes, and it became something of a family joke that Emma should host as well. Even though Emma is not one for the spotlight, this morphed from a joke into a reality and she was poised to be on stage with her parents kicking off the gala.

“Emma is reserved like me but she loves Make-A-Wish,” Terese said. “I was so proud of her for doing this.”

Of course, that was before everything changed with the COVID-19 Pandemic. As a result, Make-A-Wish-Wisconsin elected to transition Wish Night to a virtual gala. Remarkably, thanks to stellar work by the Make-A-Wish-Wisconsin team, a beautiful video was produced and the event managed to raise more than $600,000, not too far from the pre-pandemic goal; if you’re interested in helping that number grow, you can donate to Make-A-Wish-Wisconsin here.

So on March 22, Dan, Terese, and Emma were in their beautiful home, ready to record their big speech.

Anna, Emma’s younger sister, served as director, courtesy of a camera she received for Christmas. Anna, who has a flair for drama, relished the opportunity and particularly enjoyed reminding people that she expected, “quiet on her set.”

The plan called for Emma to kick it off and throw it to her dad. After Dan completed his portion, it would go back to Terese, then to Emma and finally Dan would close it out.

Not going to lie; it took more than one take.

Anna had high standards, of course, except for the time a perfect take was happening and she giggled out of nowhere.

The final clip product, though, is beautiful, and starts at the 2:00 minute mark at the link below. It’s genuine, real, charming; Emma, Terese and Dan’s personalities all shine through. Dan also came up with a light way to end the video that reflects his sense of fashion and his sense of humor.

Today, we are honored to have Emma, Terese and Dan walk us off.

Transcribing History

I was charmed by this story in the Washington Post.

The article details how museums and research libraries are reporting huge increases in volunteers who are contributing transcription services to add to the historical record.

One way to look at the internet is that it is a microcosm of society. It gives people a platform they would never have enjoyed previously to spread disinformation, contribute negativity and worse. On the other hand, it also enhances our ability to connect by opening up possibilities that were  previously unimaginable.

Pre-internet, in a pandemic, volunteer activities at cultural institutions would plummet. Today, they surge. The Smithsonian gives its digital volunteers an opportunity to transcribe documents from the most consequential collection in our nation.

The story reported that the Library of Congress has seen a fivefold jump in new transcriber accounts since mid-March. The Smithsonian has gone from 100 to 200 transcribers per month to more than 5,000.

From the Washington Post article, here are a few examples of the subject matter people are transcribing:

·        World War II diaries

·        The papers of astronaut Sally Ride

·        Recipes from Rosa Parks

·        Depression-era menus

·        School yearbooks

The story also noted that history/social studies teachers have signed up their students. Talk about taking abstract history and making it real, tangible and lasting.

English teachers are also getting into the act. The article highlights how the Library of Congress had an online event with the National Council of Teachers of English to discuss how Walt Whitman’s works could be used in the classroom.

Whether you are a student or a senior, young, old or somewhere in between, you can discover more about volunteering for the Smithsonian here.

As I reflect on Whitman (note to self to save this sentence for posterity), I thought his quote about sunshine and shadows was apropos to our current situation.

Walt Whitman walks us off with some timeless words of wisdom.

The Five for May 18, 2020 – We Are Marquette and We Are Not Fans of 3-D Shapes

1. Sheena Quinn was one of the first people I worked with at Public Communications Incorporated (PCI). She was smart, savvy, strategic, fun and funny. How’s that for a combination? She definitely eased my transition from journalism to PR and communications

It was always clear she was going places. After more than a decade at PCI, the White Sox smartly hired her as Director of Public Relations. She also married a musician, Peter Purvis of Gaelic Storm fame, and they now have two beautiful children.

Sheena, a Marquette University graduate, was featured in an excellent video the school released Sunday for the Class of 2020. On the video, Sheena joined a list of heavy-hitting alumni that included Dwyane Wade, Glenn “Doc” Rivers, Steve Novak and Jen Lada (those were just the sports ones)!

Have watched this multiple times and it so good. Hope you enjoy as well.

2. I laughed (often hysterically) my way through Waiting for Guffman in the movie theatre. Fred Willard, a master straight man and comedic actor who died at age 86 on Friday, hit it out of the park in that mockumentary. As was pointed out on Twitter, see if you can count how many consecutive dentist jokes he rips through in ten seconds.

3. As part of Liam’s e-learning today, the teacher asked parents to help their child identify 3-D shapes around the house. I’m willing to do just about anything for Liam, but I draw the line at spheres and prisms. As for cones and cubes? Out of the question!

4. Still reeling from the 3-D shape request, I tried to relax by reading the New York Times. Instead, almost as if it was taunting me, I came across a feature for the publication’s tile matching game that was described as “soothing,” and “may help you de-stress.” There is nothing soothing about tiles, especially when combined with matching! Of course, given the unique nature of Bobproof’s brain, you may find it zen and chill. Let me know what you think if you give it a try.

5. Can’t end on a stressful note. Let’s close strong with two of Sheena’s favorite Gaelic Storm songs. Gaelic Storm plays us off with “Lover's Wreck” and “Samurai Set.”

The Five for May 17, 2020 – Sunday Reading

I loved the way people used to lounge over a fat Sunday newspaper. I loved the ritual, the tradition and the way each section opened up a new world of knowledge.

Today, newspapers are not nearly as thick as print subscribers continue to plummet. While I bemoan what was and still wallow at times at the decline of newspapers and the number of talented people furloughed or downsized, there’s also no going back.

Sunday remains a great day to dive into reading before the start of another work week. On a positive note, there are more easily accessible stories out there than ever before.

There has been some incredible reporting on the COVID-19 situation but we’re making this a pandemic free zone today. Here are five things I’ve read fairly recently that have resonated. As always, this list was compiled and never curated.  

1. Considering I love to read and read to Liam all the time, it is somewhat remarkable that just this week we started the first Harry Potter book. That’s a reflection of how little I enjoy fantasy books, but I always suspected this would be the one exception to the rule. So far, so good. We are really enjoying.

No matter how much I like the book, though, I know I won’t love it as much as an article the great Joe Posnanski wrote about the time his daughter picked out a gift at Harry Potter World. Katie the Perfect is a beautiful window into how one small moment, magnified by kindness, can lead to an indelible memory.

2. My friend and former colleague Johnathon Briggs keeps stringing together the most beautiful blog posts. In this one, he not only waxes poetic about parenthood, marriage and making it all work in 2020, but he proposes some new lyrics to a song by the legend Alicia Keys. Enjoy Living Life Among the Adjustments.

3. This ESPN.com story features one wild record for each MLB team. The Brewers question was which player had the best season in franchise history as defined by Wins Above Replacement? I could not believe how off I was. The person I guessed was actually only tied for fifth, which doesn’t pass the eye test but I guess passes the stat test.

4. With so many riveted to the documentary on Michael Jordan and the Bulls, this was a fun and creative look at documentaries that could be made about various Wisconsin sports. One idea was the return to prominence by the Milwaukee Bucks. In it, the two writers for the Journal-Sentinel laud the majority owners and GM Jon Horst. I have a variant view on their relative importance and value and look forward to writing about that later in the month. I did intern at Channel 4 in Milwaukee in college and still recognize the importance of a good tease.

5. This recap of the Pepsi Super Bowl Halftime Show by Dave Barry is just one more example of why the man is still hysterical. In it, he quotes a Pepsi rep who said this “just might be the most fun and entertaining 12 minutes this world has ever seen.” Barry proceeds to write "so the bar has been set high for J. Lo and Shakira.”

Barry, the Pulitzer Prize winning columnist and best-selling author, can now add another honor to his prestigious career. Today, Mr. Barry has agreed to walk us off.

The Five For May 16, 2020 – Cheers

1. There may be no baseball, but we do have baseball announcers starring in an all new episode of the iconic show … Cheers.

The idea was the brainchild of former baseball announcer Ken Levine and Jason Benetti, the brilliant TV voice of the White Sox. Levine was an Emmy-award winning writer for Cheers and contributed to several other classic TV programs. Levine partnered on the script with David Isaacs, who also wrote for Cheers.

One core member of the Cheers cast reprises his role in this Zoom production. Given that there’s not much to sports to gamble on currently, here are my odds as to which cast member it is. Let me know if you guess right (honor system)! The winner will receive a prize TBD. In the event of a tie, we will come to an equitable solution that appeases and fairly compensates all participants.

·        5/1 (odds) George Wendt (Norm Peterson)

·        5/1 John Ratzenberger (Cliff Clavin)

·        8/1 Rhea Perlman (Carla Tortelli)

·        10/1 Ted Danson (Sam Malone)

·        25/1 Woody Harrelson (Woody Boyd)

·        25/1 Kelsey Grammer (Frasier Crane)

·        Scratched Kirstie Alley (Rebecca Howe)

·        1,000,000/1 Shelly Long (Diane Chambers)

Now, let's return to the place where everybody knows your name.

2. To the surprise of none of my readers, my track record with geography is only marginally better than my relationship with geometry. With that said, I will always know that Albania borders on the Adriatic.

3. This is the funniest horse race you will ever see. At the very end of the short video, there is some brief but salty language. Hat tip to one of my loyal East Coast readers for emailing me this link and giving me the greenlight to use it. Enjoy.

4. As many people have noted, a staple of TV interviews from home is the strategically placed trophy bookshelf. This articles reminds us it's never too early to get started.

5. The insanely astute and highly versatile writer Shea Serrano on the tiny moments that make Top Gun perfect. The trailer to the sequel has been viewed more than 31 million times. Let’s add to that number and have the trailer play us off.

Started Off A Skinny Kid

On May 7, the Twitter account of Bucks MVP Giannis Antetokounmpo was hacked. The hacker proceeded to tweet a series of vile, malicious and racist messages. 

It was one of those times where social media simply sucks.

While there are significant flaws and societal consequences of social media, there also are positives.

Growing up, what I knew about my favorite athletes was largely limited to what I read in newspapers and magazines, listened to on the radio and watched on TV.

Today, sports-loving kids can see messages, pictures and videos that come straight from their favorite athletes. After reading about what happened to Giannis’ twitter account, I spent some time checking out his social media game.

I was particularly drawn to his Instagram feed, but that’s hardly a scoop. The man does have 7.8 million followers.

With just a few clicks, you can see Giannis holding his baby on the beach, hanging out with his brothers and plenty of game action from the season. 

My favorite recent post was a 58-second video from an interview in February of 2013. You see Giannis seven years ago and he looks even younger than the teenager he is. You look at Giannis today, all 242 pounds of solid muscle, and marvel at how skinny and innocent he seemed.

A few months after that interview, the Bucks’ criminally underrated former GM John Hammond took that raw and undeveloped kid with the 15^th pick in the first round. That kid would become the MVP.

Before linking to the video, Giannis wrote on Instagram, “Started off a skinny kid and 7 years later I haven’t stopped working. Always believe in your dreams even if others think you’re crazy.”

Love how he stresses he hasn't stopped working. He’s only 25-years-old. Just imagine what the next seven years will bring?

The world is Giannis' canvas, and his magnum opus is still to come. Let’s clear the court for him now so Giannis can Euro Step us off.