The Five for May 31, 2020 – Everything Coming Up Liam

1. Liam and I finished reading the first Harry Potter book earlier today. Even though I care nothing for witches, wizards or fantasy, it was as good as advertised. For the people that find witches, wizards and fantasy fascinating, I can only imagine how much they enjoyed it.

This was the longest book I’ve read to Liam, and it had me thinking about, Patty, one of Liam’s first teachers. He had just started preschool and we received a report that his first morning went so well. That same afternoon, we got a call from a different teacher that Liam was crying because he was scared of nap time. At his school, the teachers somehow pull out these tiny, individual cots that all children sleep in or “rest quietly” during nap time.

I had a lot of sympathy for Liam. I went to what we called nursery school for a half day so there were no naps. Still, I had a lot of anxiety and it took me weeks to feel comfortable in the new environment.

The next day we got a call from the same teacher. She said that they would be able to give Liam some time to adjust but this was a prep period for her. It was sort of left unsaid this couldn’t go on forever.

Then, Patty stepped in. She spent extra time with Liam the next two days, welcoming him to the school and helping him feel more comfortable at nap time. By the end of the week, Liam was asleep minutes into nap time and it was never an issue again.

The nap issue may have resolved itself on its own, but we’ll never know. What we do know is her kindness and warmth helped Liam become comfortable in a new environment, and he had a great experience at the school for the next two-plus years.

So how does this relate to Harry Potter? We became friends with Patty and her husband John. Their family loves horse racing and we met them one beautiful Saturday at Arlington Park. One of their son’s, who worked at Arlington, even gave Liam a special tour.

I’m not sure how it came up, but Patty told us that she read every word of the Harry Potter series to her two wonderful boys. That’s quite something but I’m not surprised. Whether it’s nap time or reading time, Patty is amazing.

2. Liam started to enjoy watching the Packers this year and he likes watching football videos. He is definitely picking up the lingo. I threw him a pass Saturday and he made a bunch of cuts for a touchdown. He pointed at something on the ground and said, “Look, I broke that leaf’s ankle.”

3. We were on a bike ride earlier this week, and Liam commented that someone we passed, “looked just like Seattle coach Pete Carroll.” He was right; he did.

Of course, the man didn’t act like Carroll because that would have meant running around with a goofy grin and passing on second-and-goal at the 1 with 26 seconds left in the Super Bowl! Couldn’t resist.

4. My brother Mike and his wife Gillian gave us a bottle of Cherry Bomb hot sauce.

Liam asked me to read the label after he tried it. The label reads in part that the sauce, “explodes with complex flavors.” Liam looked thoughtfully and said, “I guess I’m not old enough yet to appreciate complex flavors.”

5. Liam and I were watching golf and a player’s shot found the sand. Or, as Liam referred to it, a sand pit. I told him, Liam, it’s called a sand trap or bunker.

He responded that, “In my world, I call it a sand pit.”

Sometimes, it’s Liam’s world and we’re all just living in it. We’ll let that example of Liam Logic walk us off.

This Is Not Water

Earlier this week, I wrote about the cheap hats you buy in Florida and take to other places, as well as an aquatic ninja warrior experience with Liam in the Adriatic Sea.

This had me thinking about some other travel stories and one that came to mind right away was our first trip to Beijing with Liam. It is memorable all right but also infamous.

Liam was young, couldn’t have been more than 3-years-old. On a Sunday morning, we were about to have an early lunch at Xiaoli’s mom’s house. Her mom was preparing the meal and Xiaoli’s sister and brother-in-law were there as well.

We realized that we were out of bottled water and I was drafted to go to a nearby store that we had shopped at previously.

Given my limited sense of direction, not going to lie, I was feeling pretty good about myself when I found the store without any issues. I asked the cashier where the bottled water was and he pointed in the general direction. 

I wasn’t positive the cashier knew any English but he had responded affirmatively so maybe he understood. There were quite a few choices at varying prices, all which seemed a touch expensive.

I should point out here, probably not surprisingly, that I have no aptitude for currency translations. The bottled water seemed expensive, but it was possible I did not convert the price correctly. Regardless, it wasn’t that much money and we needed the water.

So I paid more than I thought I should and returned to the house. One other mitigating point for what transpired next – beyond my interactions with the cashier – was that no one in Xiaoli’s house commented on the purchase.

We started eating and pretty soon Liam asked for water. I poured him a glass and he instantly spat it out. I wanted to reprehend him but his face was still in shock.

I decided maybe I should try the water myself.

It only took one sip to realize this was not water but cheap Chinese alcohol. I can only imagine what was going on in Liam’s little head.

So, the next time you are looking for the best Chinese alcohol to serve your young children, you know how to find me.

Reliving An Iconic Home Run

I enjoyed the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel’s 50 in 50 Series, which ranked Wisconsin’s greatest sports moments over the last half-century.

Lists and rankings are inherently subjective. I remember when I worked as a reporter and picked all-area teams for high school sports. Some of the picks were obvious, but sometimes you were making a decision on two evenly accomplished players and there was only room for one.

I used to agonize ranking the top teams in weekly polls. Especially early in the season, you had so little to go on and may not have even seen many teams play. I still chuckle about the time I had ranked a team in the top ten but not as high as the team had hoped for, and the coach said after that was the motivating factor for its victory that day.

So back to the 50 in 50. Obviously, a ton of work went into this so kudos to the paper and sports writer JR Radcliffe for writing all 50 pieces; he is also writing the next 10 that just missed the list. This is a huge project and one he excelled at.

I also liked how the criteria was spelled out. “These are singular moments. You’re supposed to remember where you were when they happened.”

One random observation. With no sports going on for most of this stretch, why did one person write every story? For example, why wouldn’t the two Brewers beat writers handle some of the Brewers stories, particularly since they covered some of the moments for the paper. I’m sure they had plenty of rich stuff left in the notebook they weren’t able to share at the time because of space constraints. Same for the other sports.

Anyway, I want to write a bit about one moment that did not make the top 50 but did make the 10 that just missed the list. My  intent is not to criticize the omission (OK, maybe a little), but near the top of my list was Brandon Woodruff’s home run in game 1 of the 2018 NL Championship series. It is hard to imagine any Brewers fan forgetting that moment.

I was at Miller Park that night with my dad, brother and his son Roger. The Brewers trailed 1-0 and Woodruff, a relief pitcher who had just worked a scoreless third, was due up first. It’s not as if being down one run, even against the great Clayton Kershaw was insurmountable, but there was definitely nervous tension in the crowd.

What happened next almost defies description. Woodruff, who bats left-handed, facing an all-time lefty, clobbered a 2-2 pitch for a no-doubt solo homer to right-center. With the possible exception of the Easter Sunday rally in 1987, I’m not sure I’ve ever been more excited at a baseball game.

A big piece of it was the surprise and the stakes. No one was expecting a pitcher, someone with 10 prior at bats during the season, to hit a home run. Not just a home run, but a home run off a legend. The Journal Sentinel article included a fun stat that Woodruff was the second pitcher to homer off a former MVP in the postseason and the first since 1924.

According to MLB.com, this was the first time Kershaw allowed a home run to a left-handed hitting pitcher. Woodruff also became the third reliever in baseball history to homer in the postseason.

Woodruff told the Journal Sentinel he knew it was gone when he saw centerfielder Cody Bellinger pull up in front of the wall. “That’s about the time I started rounding the bases, and the emotion started coming out.”

Woodruff looked back at the Brewers dugout during his trip around the bases and he used all of his 6-foot-4, 215-pounds to dispense high fives. As Lorenzo Cain said in the same story, “he almost broke my arm. If you look at the replay, it was a pretty strong high-five.”

Oh, Lorenzo, we’ll get to that replay soon enough.

Woodruff’s homer electrified the crowd and the dugout and the Brewers were off to the races. The Brewers scored another run in the third and Woodruff worked a scoreless fourth (4Ks over 2 innings). The Brewers chased Kershaw from the game in the bottom of the inning with three more runs.

The Brewers led 6-1 going into the eighth but needed all of those runs in a 6-5 victory. The Brewers were  suddenly three victories away from their first trip to the World Series since 1982.

After the game, Mike Moustakas said Woodruff, “is a legend in Milwaukee right now.”

Moose, truer words have never been spoken. 

I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve watched the replay, but what’s one more?

All that’s left to do now is for Woodruff to walk us off.

Croatian Ninja Aquatic Warrior ...

Or as I called him that day, the Croatian Sensation Ninja Aquatic Warrior.

Last year at this time, Liam was obsessed with American Ninja Warrior. He’s not currently obsessed, but it’s even money he will be when new episodes of the show finally return.

In August, we were in Croatia in the town of Zadar on vacation with Xiaoli’s mom and sister. On one of our last days on the beach that feeds into the Adriatic Sea – which apparently borders Croatia in addition to Albania – we noticed some type of warrior course set up in the water.

Of course, Liam couldn’t wait to try it. I did not share his enthusiasm for participating but couldn’t wait to see him take his shot. So, the two of us walked on excruciating rocks for more than a minute. Then, we started swimming and about 50 yards later we arrived at this obstacle course, an inflatable paradise on water.

Just lifting ourselves up from the water onto the inflatable was challenging and that was not even a true obstacle. 

What happened next was fun and fairly amazing. There were children of various ages spread out and also some people who appeared to be in their early 20's. There may have been a lifeguard by the beach but everyone seemed to be on their own.

As a result, everyone took care of each other.

If someone fell off an obstacle, and falling off meant finding yourself in the Adriatic Sea, people stopped what they were doing to make sure that person could get back up. 

There were a few kids not in groups and Liam found a boy from Sweden who was about his age and the two became fast friends. They went round and round the course, figuring out their favorite obstacles. Although it looked exhausting, it was a long while before they tired.

It will also be a long time before Liam forgets that wonderful memory of his time in Croatia.

The same is true for his Dad.

Florida Fashion

In normal times, tourism is big business in Florida, a backbone of the state’s economy.

For two years and a couple of international trips, my family served as unpaid endorsers of Florida. Not because of a splashy marketing campaign or a particular affinity for the state.

It can all be explained by $5 hats.

First, some hat background. I’ve never been, well, a natural when it comes to hats. To start, I never knew how to break in baseball caps. I still remember my freshman baseball coach on one of our first day of practices grabbing my hat off my head and working in the brim, “so he would be able to look at me.” As an aside, coach and I were each a baseball rarity by throwing with our left hands and batting from the right side. We had a great relationship and that was one of my all-time fun seasons for baseball.

Back to hats, though. Over the years, I kind of, sort of, figured out how to break in a hat but struggled to keep them in good shape and also find ones that fit well. Throw in the fact that I can easily leave a cap outdoors at a tennis court or playground, and you can see it’s a bit of a conundrum.

On a trip to Florida, no surprise, we were in need of extra hats and we walked into a Walgreens. On sale, were cheap hats that had Florida splashed all over. While we were not Florida Superfans, they fit well, protected us from the sun, and the price was more than right.

While I continued to cycle in and out of other hats, the Florida hats remained a constant. We wore them proudly in Chicago, Milwaukee and out of the country as well. No one would pay me to wear their hat or even want me to model it for free, but Xiaoli and Liam are quite cute so it was definitely in Florida’s interest that they took turns rocking those hats.

Ultimately, I lost one hat to salt water and the other to the Loggers Run at Great America. It’s a fair question as to why I was wearing a hat in either situation, and it's a question I do not have a good answer for.

Should cheap hats become a thing in Florida marketing, however, they’ll know who to thank.

And there's no arguing with the ROI.

Whose Pizza Is It Anyway?

After writing about food delivery earlier this month, I couldn’t help but chuckle over the latest oddity in this, apparently, never dull service category.

According to multiple stories, some national chains such as Chuck E. Cheese are selling food under different names on delivery platforms. Chuck E. Cheese uses the name Pasqually’s Pizza & Wings. In the CNN.com article, a spokesperson for the chain said that the brand is wholly separate, the two simply share kitchen space. Applebee’s and Boston Market were two other examples of chains doing something similar.

The CNN.com article includes a fun text exchange between a customer who ordered from Pasqually’s only to suspect it was really a Chuck E. Cheese pizza. This is part of what the customer texted to her Grubhub delivery driver. “It’s good, but it’s totally Chuck E. Cheese pizza! My husband said that the chef character at Chuck E. Cheese is named PASQUALLY so I think they just made up this secondary restaurant for takeout now that they can’t be open.”

The spokesperson said it’s a different pizza which was described as “a more flavorful, more premium pizza experience.”

Wow, two thoughts.

First, what does that say about regular Chuck E. Cheese pizza? Does that make it bland and middling? Second, when did eating pizza become an experience? I realize that experience, like curate, has lost all meaning, but is there any pizza outside of maybe Sicily that could be described this way?

When it comes to the Chuck E. Cheese of my youth, though, I do think the ball crawl might merit the word experience.

Little did I know that many people feel the same way. Vox.com writes that, “there’s something about swimming in a vat of colorful balls that people and animals of all ages find simply delightful." A fascinating, deep-dive from Vox about ball pits walks us off.

Reading Fun

My mom read all the time to my brother and I as kids. Such warm memories when I look back on the number of books she patiently and lovingly narrated.

I’ve enjoyed doing the same with Liam, as we’ve progressed from picture books, to children’s books, to chapter books. When Liam was younger, he would often want to read the same book over and over. Now, we re-read the same book less but we enjoy finding an author and doing a deep dive. And occasionally, he’ll still request the 101th reading of a book he read 100 times before.

It’s special to read books that I enjoyed as a kid and to see that they still hold up and capture the attention of a child. Books like “The Boxcar Children” series, “Danny, The Champion of the World” and Judy Blume’s “Fudge Series all come to mind among others.

I remember how much I liked checking out books from the school library in elementary school and it’s exciting to share in Liam’s excitement when he comes home with a stack of books.

As Liam’s reading progresses, he’s getting into the act himself. I will read most pages of a chapter but I will ask him to read a page or two. It’s exciting to watch him go from sounding out the words a year ago to now pronouncing most of the words correctly and even doing a bit of the acting and voices on occasion.

I’ve noted that when we read a book together, our contributions are the inverse correlation of jigsaw puzzles. Liam finds about 80 percent of the pieces and I would say that’s about what percentage of the reading I do.

We also enjoy audio books, particularly in the car but lately at home as well. I’ve never liked audio books for myself, but it’s fun to see how into the narration and acting Liam gets.

This is another example of something you may not enjoy yourself but do through the eyes and ears of a child.

All right Liam, what should we read and listen to next?

Whatever you choose, I’m looking forward to it.

The Five for May 24, 2020 – Chess, Old-Fashioneds, Fishing and More

The Five returns with some more Sunday reading. Let’s get to it.

1. For several months, my nephew Roger has played chess with Liam once a week over the computer. Roger loves chess and is trying to introduce Liam to the game. I will read this story to Liam and I bet Roger will enjoy as well. The headline says it all: “From Homeless Refugee to Chess Prodigy, 9-year-old Dreams of Becoming Youngest Grandmaster.”

2. Ever since Liam and I started the first Harry Potter book, I’ve been fascinated by the author J.K. Rowling. Technically, I was fascinated with her before but even more so now. So when I came across this story about Rowling tweeting a question about bitcoin, while drinking old-fashioneds (plural), how could I resist? Elon Musk makes a cameo as do the CEOs of “prominent” bitcoin companies.

3. If I could bait a hook, I wouldn’t be writing a blog called Bobproof. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve gone fishing, and each time it took a fishing village to help me with each aspect of the sport (save for casting). Even so, I’ve always enjoyed reading about fishing and admired the patience, dedication and skill it takes. As a kid, I do remember with much help catching a couple of bluegills, and perhaps that’s why I enjoyed this article about how, “shore fishing for bluegills takes on a new shine.” You could also substitute the fishing in here for most other hobbies and it would still resonate.

4. Is the baseball card boom of the late 80s and early 90s coming back? Probably not, but it is interesting to see how no MLB combined with nostalgia is driving up the value of rookie cards for players such as Ken Griffey Jr.

5. Perhaps because I only saw him on those great Lakers teams, I’ve struggled to believe that Kareem Abdul-Jabbar played for the Bucks. I mean I know he did, for six season no less, it just always seemed implausible that he started his career in Milwaukee. This was a fun look at how his skyhook helped the Bucks win a classic game in the NBA Finals.

Diane Boldt Is The Best

A friendly smile, genuine warmth, a hearty laugh and, in winter, a rush to hang your coat.

That is the friendly greeting each and every guest receives when they walk through the doors at Public Communications Incorporated (PCI). The woman behind that smile is Diane Boldt, PCI’s receptionist, who recently celebrated a milestone birthday.

Her birthday had me reflecting on how much she enhanced my experience at PCI. The first time I visited PCI for a job interview, the first person I saw was Diane. Instantly, I could sense that not only was she a good person, but that she was rooting for me. That meant so much.

When my son Liam was born, it almost felt like Diane was his grandmother she was so happy. I would sometimes bring home little knick-knacks that I showed Diane and she always asked the next day how he liked them.

Diane not only befriended each person on staff but she made quite an impression on clients. It was not uncommon for me to go to a client meeting and for someone to ask how Diane was doing or comment how much they enjoyed chatting with her when they called PCI.

In a polarized world, we can all agree that Diane is the best. Happy belated birthday, Diane, and hope you enjoy some thoughts below from some current and former colleagues.

Jill Allread – Diane thrives on bringing joy to others through her loving smile and caring words offered every day despite what’s happening in her life. In her desk, she keeps a box filled with hand-picked greeting cards so she’s prepared to help the PCI team send condolences, congratulations or birthday messages in an instant. Diane is loved by all, and is a touching example of how one can live in grace and with gratitude and inspire others. I appreciate her so much and the light she shines on the world.

Sara Conley – What amazes me about Diane is the size of her heart. She cares so deeply about so many people. I feel very lucky that she has made room for me in her heart over the years. I've almost never seen Diane as happy as the day I told her I was going to be a mom. She couldn't have been happier if I was her own daughter. As the years went by, Diane wanted every bit of news she could get about our little guy. She saved every holiday card we made with his pictures on it. W

When I received a package at work and the contents were for Luca, I would open it at her desk so she could see his new outfit or toy or book. She got such a kick out of being a part of his life, even though it was from afar. And when he came to the office to visit, we got a first-hand glimpse of what it must be like to be one of Diane's grandchildren and adored beyond belief. When Diane started at PCI I was answering the phones and I taught her how to use the phone system. I can't count all the things that Diane taught me over the years but they include the importance of a positive attitude, the power of a smile and the happiness that caring for others can bring to us all. 

Ashley (Mattys) Biladeau – My favorite memory of Diane is how she thought I should create an album of my whistling! I would whistle to myself when I was in the kitchen (not even realizing I was doing it) and she would comment and say how beautiful it was and how I should make an album. What a ray of sunshine she is. :) 

Beth Schlesinger – What really sticks with me about Diane is not something specific she did or said, but how Diane made you feel. First, Diane is the most genuine, sincere person I have ever had the opportunity to work with. She truly cared about each and every PCIer and client. She made you feel special. She recognized every individual and his/her talents. She would tell you how impressed she was with your creativity and leadership. Knowing that I had a 1 1/2 hour commute to the office every day and had two school-aged sons, Diane would often say to me, “I don’t know how you do it.” It meant a lot to know Diane, as a mother herself, understood and appreciated what it meant to be dedicated to your career and your family and do all that you could to succeed at both. If I had to describe in one word how Diane made each of us feel, that word would be “cherished.” And we, in turn, cherish Diane.

Dorothy Pirovano – As I plant lover, I felt compelled to bring in six-foot long window planters filled with healthy green plants to warm up the north-facing windows at the office. When we decided to discontinue the service that provided and cared for our large potted plants, they left them behind and I took it upon myself to make sure they were watered, dead leaves removed and pruned back when needed. I'd do it as early as I could on Monday mornings when the only other person likely to be in the office was Diane.

She decided plant watering should be her job, not the CEO's, and lugged gallon containers of water from one end of the office to the other. It took at least four trips to do the job and Diane carried those heavy gallons with a smile on her face. No matter how early I'd try to be there, she would beat me and I'd have to hustle to fill up containers so she didn't have to do it alone. It was our social time and we began the week by catching up on what happened over the weekend and celebrating the birthdays, anniversaries, performances and special events of each other's families. It also gave her a chance to tell me the news of various people who regularly came to the office - a promotion, retirement or job change for her regulars: the postal worker, UPS or FedEx delivery persons, the building cleaning and security staff. Diane knew them all and cared for each one, just as she cared for the plants (and me).  

Free Pizza

Some of it is generational.

Some of it, I maintain, is common sense. Others, may characterize it, perhaps correctly, as cheapness.

When I worked in downtown Chicago, I sometimes ordered lunch online. No matter how busy I was or what the weather was like, I always walked to pick it up. I could never justify the cost of delivery.

If pressed, or even if not, I felt pretty good about myself – maybe even a touch smug – when I would observe delivery people taking lunches to office buildings throughout the city. 

Of course, if I really wanted to save money, I could have made my lunch at home or limited my 7-Eleven runs. But the point of this post is not my financial inconsistencies, it’s food delivery people!

Which brings us to one of my favorite articles of 2020. It involves food delivery, arbitrage, the peculiar incentives of startup economy, zero interest-rate policy (ZIRP) and demonstrates that there may, indeed, be a free lunch after all.

Or at least free pizza.

Ranjan Roy, one of the co-authors of the Margins Newsletter, wrote a fun, creative and brilliant article. He opened it this way. “If capitalism is driven by a search for profit, the food delivery business confuses the hell out of me. Every platform loses money. Restaurants feel like they’re getting screwed. Delivery drivers are poster children for gig economy problems. Customers get annoyed about delivery fees. Isn’t business supposed to solve problems?”

Roy proceeds to tell a story about a friend of his who owns pizza restaurants. The friend, by choice, did not offer delivery. So why did he receive complaints from customers who said their pizza was delivered cold?

It turned out, without his permission, DoorDash had created a delivery option on his Google Listing. The friend asked Roy what he knew about DoorDash and he replied with this classic line about the business model of many 21^st century aspiring tech disrupters. “Raise a ton of money, lose a ton of money, and just obliterate the basic economics of an industry.”

It gets better.

DoorDash charged $16 for the same pizza the owner listed as $24. Roy writes that based on the way the restaurant’s website was set up, it appeared DoorDash mistakenly used the price for a cheese pizza and applied it to pizza with multiple toppings.

Roy said it was time for his friend to start making pizzas, selling them to DoorDash and start booking $8 of profit per pizza.

He convinced the owner to place an order for 10 pizzas with instructions to deliver them to a friend. The owner charged $160 to his credit card and a DoorDash driver arrived at the restaurant and paid $240 for the pizzas. Roy joked with his friend that he should, “run this arbitrage over and over. You could massively even grow your top-line revenue while netting riskless profit, and maybe even get acquired at an inflated valuation.”

For the next experiment/arbitrage/pizza order, they prepared pizzas with just dough. This would increase the profit even more, provided DoorDash did not catch on.

Surely, DoorDash would, right?

Tear up your trusty econmics texbook and read the whole thing to find the answer. Roy walks us off with what may well be, "the greatest ZIRP story ever told."

The Five for May 21, 2020 – Full Ride

1. Gillian Gosman, my sister-in-law, is the type of English teacher you want teaching your kids. Since 2014, the students of Carmen School of Technology (Northwest Campus) have benefited from Gillian’s love of language. As a teacher and adviser, she strives each day to help give all kids a better chance to succeed.

Two of those students were featured earlier this week on today's TMJ 4. Lio Navarro and Sunny Nguyen, friends since middle school, are their class’s valedictorian and salutatorian, respectively. They will be first generation college students at the University of Iowa where they plan to share the same dorm room.

The kicker? They earned full-ride scholarships. Bravo!

2. As you can surmise, Gillian and Mike are quite the power couple! Mike was quoted in this Journal Sentinel story highlighting ACTS Housing’s work to help low-income renters became first-time homeowners. Be sure to check out the photo gallery as well.

3. Wright Thompson does it again. If the “The Last Dance” documentary only whetted your appetite for No. 23, check out this remarkable feature.

4. This was such a good tribute for the great Fred Willard from some of his peers at Hollywoodreporter.com. Steve Martin tweets that Willard was always, “my comic hero,” and Steve Carell said that Willard was, “the funniest person I’ve ever worked with.” What high praise for someone who was also regarded as a wonderful person. In Hollywood, that might put him in as select company as his comedy did.

5. Less you surmise (twice in one blog!) that Mike and Gillian’s children are slacking off, Roger and George know how to find the limelight as well. Their shoveling skills were featured several years ago in a photo gallery in the Journal Sentinel. Not only are the pictures great (5 and 6 in the photo gallery), but the caption in No. 6 is an all-timer. Thank you to Roger and George for taking time out of their schedules to walk us off.

Emma Girl

Even though she’s a teenager now, she’ll always be Emma girl to me.

Emma Einhorn, 15, is my cousin Dan and Terese’s oldest. For so long at family gatherings – of the group that stayed in or near Milwaukee – my brother was the youngest.

Then came Emma.

Maybe it was that she was so much cuter than Mike, but she had an instant place in my heart.

There’s a lot kids vying for attention at family gatherings now. For those three years, though, it was just Emma. I loved holding her, playing with her, and watching her grow.

At age 3, she was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia and endured two years of chemotherapy. Thankfully, she’s been in full remission for a decade and is happy, healthy and just completing her freshman year of high school.

While she was sick, the Einhorn family connected with Make-A-Wish. Emma knew instantly what her wish would be.

“Disney World was the first thing that came to my mind,” Emma said. “There was no hesitation, only excitement.”

Shortly after completing chemotherapy, Emma and the family were off to Orlando and Disney World. Emma was excited to see the princesses, and she was treated like one for the next week. The family stayed at Give Kids The World Village (GKWV), where ice cream is served any time of day and Minnie Mouse has been known to tuck kids in at night.

At the Disney Parks, a GKWV button provides access to an alternate entrance so families can enjoy the rides and attractions with minimal waiting. 

“They make it as easy as you can imagine,” Dan said. “It was an amazing experience for Emma and our family.”

The Einhorn family became supporters and volunteers for Make-A-Wish-Wisconsin.

This year, Dan and Terese were asked if they would be interested in serving as chairs for Wish Night, Make-A-Wish-Wisconsin’s signature gala, on April 2. Dan and Terese said yes, and it became something of a family joke that Emma should host as well. Even though Emma is not one for the spotlight, this morphed from a joke into a reality and she was poised to be on stage with her parents kicking off the gala.

“Emma is reserved like me but she loves Make-A-Wish,” Terese said. “I was so proud of her for doing this.”

Of course, that was before everything changed with the COVID-19 Pandemic. As a result, Make-A-Wish-Wisconsin elected to transition Wish Night to a virtual gala. Remarkably, thanks to stellar work by the Make-A-Wish-Wisconsin team, a beautiful video was produced and the event managed to raise more than $600,000, not too far from the pre-pandemic goal; if you’re interested in helping that number grow, you can donate to Make-A-Wish-Wisconsin here.

So on March 22, Dan, Terese, and Emma were in their beautiful home, ready to record their big speech.

Anna, Emma’s younger sister, served as director, courtesy of a camera she received for Christmas. Anna, who has a flair for drama, relished the opportunity and particularly enjoyed reminding people that she expected, “quiet on her set.”

The plan called for Emma to kick it off and throw it to her dad. After Dan completed his portion, it would go back to Terese, then to Emma and finally Dan would close it out.

Not going to lie; it took more than one take.

Anna had high standards, of course, except for the time a perfect take was happening and she giggled out of nowhere.

The final clip product, though, is beautiful, and starts at the 2:00 minute mark at the link below. It’s genuine, real, charming; Emma, Terese and Dan’s personalities all shine through. Dan also came up with a light way to end the video that reflects his sense of fashion and his sense of humor.

Today, we are honored to have Emma, Terese and Dan walk us off.

Transcribing History

I was charmed by this story in the Washington Post.

The article details how museums and research libraries are reporting huge increases in volunteers who are contributing transcription services to add to the historical record.

One way to look at the internet is that it is a microcosm of society. It gives people a platform they would never have enjoyed previously to spread disinformation, contribute negativity and worse. On the other hand, it also enhances our ability to connect by opening up possibilities that were  previously unimaginable.

Pre-internet, in a pandemic, volunteer activities at cultural institutions would plummet. Today, they surge. The Smithsonian gives its digital volunteers an opportunity to transcribe documents from the most consequential collection in our nation.

The story reported that the Library of Congress has seen a fivefold jump in new transcriber accounts since mid-March. The Smithsonian has gone from 100 to 200 transcribers per month to more than 5,000.

From the Washington Post article, here are a few examples of the subject matter people are transcribing:

·        World War II diaries

·        The papers of astronaut Sally Ride

·        Recipes from Rosa Parks

·        Depression-era menus

·        School yearbooks

The story also noted that history/social studies teachers have signed up their students. Talk about taking abstract history and making it real, tangible and lasting.

English teachers are also getting into the act. The article highlights how the Library of Congress had an online event with the National Council of Teachers of English to discuss how Walt Whitman’s works could be used in the classroom.

Whether you are a student or a senior, young, old or somewhere in between, you can discover more about volunteering for the Smithsonian here.

As I reflect on Whitman (note to self to save this sentence for posterity), I thought his quote about sunshine and shadows was apropos to our current situation.

Walt Whitman walks us off with some timeless words of wisdom.

The Five for May 18, 2020 – We Are Marquette and We Are Not Fans of 3-D Shapes

1. Sheena Quinn was one of the first people I worked with at Public Communications Incorporated (PCI). She was smart, savvy, strategic, fun and funny. How’s that for a combination? She definitely eased my transition from journalism to PR and communications

It was always clear she was going places. After more than a decade at PCI, the White Sox smartly hired her as Director of Public Relations. She also married a musician, Peter Purvis of Gaelic Storm fame, and they now have two beautiful children.

Sheena, a Marquette University graduate, was featured in an excellent video the school released Sunday for the Class of 2020. On the video, Sheena joined a list of heavy-hitting alumni that included Dwyane Wade, Glenn “Doc” Rivers, Steve Novak and Jen Lada (those were just the sports ones)!

Have watched this multiple times and it so good. Hope you enjoy as well.

2. I laughed (often hysterically) my way through Waiting for Guffman in the movie theatre. Fred Willard, a master straight man and comedic actor who died at age 86 on Friday, hit it out of the park in that mockumentary. As was pointed out on Twitter, see if you can count how many consecutive dentist jokes he rips through in ten seconds.

3. As part of Liam’s e-learning today, the teacher asked parents to help their child identify 3-D shapes around the house. I’m willing to do just about anything for Liam, but I draw the line at spheres and prisms. As for cones and cubes? Out of the question!

4. Still reeling from the 3-D shape request, I tried to relax by reading the New York Times. Instead, almost as if it was taunting me, I came across a feature for the publication’s tile matching game that was described as “soothing,” and “may help you de-stress.” There is nothing soothing about tiles, especially when combined with matching! Of course, given the unique nature of Bobproof’s brain, you may find it zen and chill. Let me know what you think if you give it a try.

5. Can’t end on a stressful note. Let’s close strong with two of Sheena’s favorite Gaelic Storm songs. Gaelic Storm plays us off with “Lover's Wreck” and “Samurai Set.”

The Five for May 17, 2020 – Sunday Reading

I loved the way people used to lounge over a fat Sunday newspaper. I loved the ritual, the tradition and the way each section opened up a new world of knowledge.

Today, newspapers are not nearly as thick as print subscribers continue to plummet. While I bemoan what was and still wallow at times at the decline of newspapers and the number of talented people furloughed or downsized, there’s also no going back.

Sunday remains a great day to dive into reading before the start of another work week. On a positive note, there are more easily accessible stories out there than ever before.

There has been some incredible reporting on the COVID-19 situation but we’re making this a pandemic free zone today. Here are five things I’ve read fairly recently that have resonated. As always, this list was compiled and never curated.  

1. Considering I love to read and read to Liam all the time, it is somewhat remarkable that just this week we started the first Harry Potter book. That’s a reflection of how little I enjoy fantasy books, but I always suspected this would be the one exception to the rule. So far, so good. We are really enjoying.

No matter how much I like the book, though, I know I won’t love it as much as an article the great Joe Posnanski wrote about the time his daughter picked out a gift at Harry Potter World. Katie the Perfect is a beautiful window into how one small moment, magnified by kindness, can lead to an indelible memory.

2. My friend and former colleague Johnathon Briggs keeps stringing together the most beautiful blog posts. In this one, he not only waxes poetic about parenthood, marriage and making it all work in 2020, but he proposes some new lyrics to a song by the legend Alicia Keys. Enjoy Living Life Among the Adjustments.

3. This ESPN.com story features one wild record for each MLB team. The Brewers question was which player had the best season in franchise history as defined by Wins Above Replacement? I could not believe how off I was. The person I guessed was actually only tied for fifth, which doesn’t pass the eye test but I guess passes the stat test.

4. With so many riveted to the documentary on Michael Jordan and the Bulls, this was a fun and creative look at documentaries that could be made about various Wisconsin sports. One idea was the return to prominence by the Milwaukee Bucks. In it, the two writers for the Journal-Sentinel laud the majority owners and GM Jon Horst. I have a variant view on their relative importance and value and look forward to writing about that later in the month. I did intern at Channel 4 in Milwaukee in college and still recognize the importance of a good tease.

5. This recap of the Pepsi Super Bowl Halftime Show by Dave Barry is just one more example of why the man is still hysterical. In it, he quotes a Pepsi rep who said this “just might be the most fun and entertaining 12 minutes this world has ever seen.” Barry proceeds to write "so the bar has been set high for J. Lo and Shakira.”

Barry, the Pulitzer Prize winning columnist and best-selling author, can now add another honor to his prestigious career. Today, Mr. Barry has agreed to walk us off.

The Five For May 16, 2020 – Cheers

1. There may be no baseball, but we do have baseball announcers starring in an all new episode of the iconic show … Cheers.

The idea was the brainchild of former baseball announcer Ken Levine and Jason Benetti, the brilliant TV voice of the White Sox. Levine was an Emmy-award winning writer for Cheers and contributed to several other classic TV programs. Levine partnered on the script with David Isaacs, who also wrote for Cheers.

One core member of the Cheers cast reprises his role in this Zoom production. Given that there’s not much to sports to gamble on currently, here are my odds as to which cast member it is. Let me know if you guess right (honor system)! The winner will receive a prize TBD. In the event of a tie, we will come to an equitable solution that appeases and fairly compensates all participants.

·        5/1 (odds) George Wendt (Norm Peterson)

·        5/1 John Ratzenberger (Cliff Clavin)

·        8/1 Rhea Perlman (Carla Tortelli)

·        10/1 Ted Danson (Sam Malone)

·        25/1 Woody Harrelson (Woody Boyd)

·        25/1 Kelsey Grammer (Frasier Crane)

·        Scratched Kirstie Alley (Rebecca Howe)

·        1,000,000/1 Shelly Long (Diane Chambers)

Now, let's return to the place where everybody knows your name.

2. To the surprise of none of my readers, my track record with geography is only marginally better than my relationship with geometry. With that said, I will always know that Albania borders on the Adriatic.

3. This is the funniest horse race you will ever see. At the very end of the short video, there is some brief but salty language. Hat tip to one of my loyal East Coast readers for emailing me this link and giving me the greenlight to use it. Enjoy.

4. As many people have noted, a staple of TV interviews from home is the strategically placed trophy bookshelf. This articles reminds us it's never too early to get started.

5. The insanely astute and highly versatile writer Shea Serrano on the tiny moments that make Top Gun perfect. The trailer to the sequel has been viewed more than 31 million times. Let’s add to that number and have the trailer play us off.

Started Off A Skinny Kid

On May 7, the Twitter account of Bucks MVP Giannis Antetokounmpo was hacked. The hacker proceeded to tweet a series of vile, malicious and racist messages. 

It was one of those times where social media simply sucks.

While there are significant flaws and societal consequences of social media, there also are positives.

Growing up, what I knew about my favorite athletes was largely limited to what I read in newspapers and magazines, listened to on the radio and watched on TV.

Today, sports-loving kids can see messages, pictures and videos that come straight from their favorite athletes. After reading about what happened to Giannis’ twitter account, I spent some time checking out his social media game.

I was particularly drawn to his Instagram feed, but that’s hardly a scoop. The man does have 7.8 million followers.

With just a few clicks, you can see Giannis holding his baby on the beach, hanging out with his brothers and plenty of game action from the season. 

My favorite recent post was a 58-second video from an interview in February of 2013. You see Giannis seven years ago and he looks even younger than the teenager he is. You look at Giannis today, all 242 pounds of solid muscle, and marvel at how skinny and innocent he seemed.

A few months after that interview, the Bucks’ criminally underrated former GM John Hammond took that raw and undeveloped kid with the 15^th pick in the first round. That kid would become the MVP.

Before linking to the video, Giannis wrote on Instagram, “Started off a skinny kid and 7 years later I haven’t stopped working. Always believe in your dreams even if others think you’re crazy.”

Love how he stresses he hasn't stopped working. He’s only 25-years-old. Just imagine what the next seven years will bring?

The world is Giannis' canvas, and his magnum opus is still to come. Let’s clear the court for him now so Giannis can Euro Step us off.

The Five for May 14, 2020 – Marty, Fleischer, True Believers and More

1. Liam, on Wednesday, said this about the instructor from his new online class. “Marty is such a cool name.”

I reminded him that he has an Uncle Marty as well, and his mind was blown. Thought all the people named Marty – near and far – would appreciate the love since compliments on an old-school name don’t happen all the time, especially from the coveted 8-year-old demographic.

I can visualize my cousin, Laura, smiling as she reads this. If I bring up the price of succotash, I may hear the laughter all the way from Queens.

2. I had so much fun earlier this week revisiting a musical journey that began in second grade, found a favorite home on E Street, but was always grounded by a walk in Memphis. Here are two live versions of the song I came across.

The first, get ready for this, is a duet between Cohn and Miley Cyrus. In Memphis I tell you!

I had a music relationship with Miley this summer that might be worth a post at some point, and the duet combined with her genuine respect for Cohn is amazing. Enjoy. I also learned that Cher has consistently covered "Walking in Memphis." Here is Cher making her Bobproof debut.

3. My friend, Jeff Fleischer, is killing it.

I shared last week how the second edition of his book Votes of Confidence: A Young Person’s Guide to American Elections, was published to critical acclaim. Recently, his short story, “Redundancy,” was featured in the magazine Glassworks; it starts on page 19. Check out this remarkable review of the short story in the Oscilloscope Literary Magazine. Excerpted quotes include:

·        “It’s the most fun you’ll have with an imaginary friend this side of Calvin and Hobbes.

·        “Well-constructed story filled with nuance, humor, and charm. … Covers terrain that is both logical and unexpected.”

·        “Fleischer’s work is deeply comical, although in a subtle way.”

4. I enjoyed the movie Top Gun when it was released in 1986 and am looking forward to the sequel.  This article is a fun look at every call sign from the movie, ranked. I loved this sentence, “he has the build of a final boss in a fighting game, and his volleyball stance is a pre-Instagram thirst trap masterpiece.”

I did have to look up what a pre-Instagram thirst trap masterpiece was. I still don’t fully understand it nor is it probably 100 percent safe for work but what a line.

5. Holy Rabbit holes, Bernie! Still geeked up about revisiting the Brewers’ Easter Sunday victory in 1987, I came across this on YouTube; a link to a video I wore out watching as a kid.

I hope you have nothing pressing to do over the next 36:52.

It’s only right that, “Magic, Miracles and True Believers Walks Us Off.

Easter Sunday

The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel is counting down the 50 greatest moments in Wisconsin sports history over the past 50 years.

One day ago, the Brewers’ extra-inning Easter Sunday victory over the Texas Rangers in 1987 was selected as No. 11. The criteria is that it has to be a positive, singular moment that you’re supposed to remember where you were when it happened.

I could honestly make a case for Easter Sunday as No. 1. Not saying it is but it is in the conversation.

So many happy memories come flooding back when I think of that game, that season, and what it meant.

Before Easter Sunday arrived, the Brewers had won 11 consecutive games to start the year. Eleven wins in a row anytime is memorable. At the start of the season, when every game is magnified? All the more special.

I was riding to Hebrew School with my mom on Opening Day and remember Bob Uecker calling Paul Molitor’s leadoff triple to open the game. Robin Yount followed with an RBI single and we were off to the races.

Remarkably, I didn’t see the ninth victory of the streak on TV, Juan Nieves’ no-hitter, which remains the only no-hitter in franchise history. We had a Passover Seder that night – I think with the Fabos family – and it wasn’t until later that we learned what happened. The final out of that no-hitter came on a diving catch by Robin Yount in center. There are people to this day who maintain that Yount didn’t need to dive for the ball, that he did so to build the drama. I’ve never understood that; showboating was the antithesis of Yount’s game.

Two victories following the no-hitter, and it’s Easter Sunday at County Stadium. Our family was in attendance and quite nervous when the Brewers trailed 4-1 in the bottom of the ninth. With two on and one out, Rob Deer hit a towering, three-run homer into the wind that landed in the deepest part of the stands in left.

Tie game. 

Not sure a stadium could get any louder.

Until, that is, with two outs, Dale Sveum drilled a two-run homer into the bullpen in right field for a 6-4 victory.

It was epic and it seemed like the cheers lasted for hours. It also meant that all of Milwaukee would eat free hamburgers as part of a George Webb promotion for winning 12 straight.

The next day, to their eternal credit, Mom and Dad pulled my brother and I out of school and we drove to Comiskey Park in Chicago to see if the Crew could win No. 13. Sure enough, the Brewers rallied in the seventh inning to take a 5-4 lead and that was the score when Dan Plesac recorded the final strikeout.

The rest of the season was packed with ups, downs and more electric moments. After winning 20 of their first 23, the Brewers lost 12 consecutive games. They were one game under .500 at the All-Star break, before going on a tear and finishing the season 91-71.

Molitor hit in 39 consecutive games, the seventh-longest streak in history. In fact, no one has recorded that many hits in a row since. Pitcher Teddy Higuera had a 32-inning scoreless streak as well.

And while Yount’s catch to preserve the no-hitter was certainly up there, the most magical moment was that 9^th inning against the Rangers, when Deer and Sveum provided a moment that is still electrifying to Brewers fans all these years later.

With that, the floor is cleared for Mr. Baseball to walk us off as only he can.

Ping-Pong Punditry

My friend Jeremy asked how I was enjoying our new ping-pong table.

Seemingly, a simple question. My response? Anything but.

After telling him how well Xiaoli and Liam were playing, I dived into the most important part – a detailed breakdown of my own game, specifically my unique playing style. By the time I stopped talking, he must have thought he had played a five-set tennis match.

Will summarize my answer by section as a full transcript would be novel length.

Critical Ping Pong Context

Growing up, we had a table for several years. At the risk of bragging, I was pretty good. My quirk was that I served with my right hand and played the rest of the point with my left. You have to love the way Bobproof’s brain is wired, huh? 

I do everything with my left hand, except for hitting a baseball, playing tennis and serving in ping pong. It is quite rare to throw left and bat right in baseball. According to a 2015 ESPN.com article, only five nonpitchers since 1900 have played 1,000 games batting right-handed and throwing left-handed. There were so many examples of players that threw right and battled left that they didn’t even calculate the number. Disappointingly, no stats seem to exist on professional ping-pong players that serve with their right hand and play the point out with their left.

Of course, in baseball, though, one of those throw left bat right guys was Rickey Henderson. Clearly, Rickey and I have a lot of common. Both of us stole a lot of bases (mine mostly came in freshman baseball, but details). Rickey lapses into the third person more than I do, but I already went third person earlier in this blog and, frankly, it was quite freeing.

Ping Pong Present 

During this go around with ping-pong, I started questioning the wisdom of serving with my right hand and then playing with my left hand. I decided to experiment.

I tried playing the whole point right-handed. That played to the strength of my forehand, which, candidly, is pretty robust. Interestingly, and as you may have heard, even though it’s ping-pong and not tennis, I’ve actually shared some tips with a famous Spanish tennis player about how I load my shots with topspin. Kind of surprising he reached out since his topspin is universally lauded, but I guess the great ones are never satisfied. Similar, I guess, to the way I play and approach ping-pong.

The main problem with playing right-handed is that while the forehand is natural, the backhand is difficult. It feels awkward and leads to erratic shots.

I’ve also tried serving left-handed and playing the entire point with that hand. My serve is a work in progress this way, but I’m starting to “see the ball” well from my forehand and backhand side.

The final option is admittedly a bit out there. I serve with my right hand and then switch hands based on where the shot goes. This allows me to strike forehands from both wings. I’ve taken some grief for this approach online, on Twitter and in “ping-pong circles,” but as Steve Jobs once said, “have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”

The only flaw so far is that I’m executing a forehand dominant approach against an 8-year-old. So would this really work against adults?

Ping-Pong Future

So as I told Jeremy, I’m still searching, still grinding. And, I’m not going to lie, there’s some pondering and reflecting going on as well.

It’s not easy to try and find a style I can live with; one that melds efficiency with creativity and allows for artistic flourishes.

When I finally stopped talking, Jeremy looked at me with a glazed expression.

“I didn’t know that asking if you were enjoying ping-pong was such a loaded question?” he said.

Jeremy, I’ll be much briefer with this response.

Touché.

Walk In Memphis With Me

Second grade, Mrs Cobb's class. 

One day, for some reason, she played Michael Jackson’s song, “Thriller.”

With no warning, my classmates bolted out of their seats and started singing the words and moving their bodies to the music.

I felt like an alien. What was happening here? How did they know the words? Was this what humans call dancing?

By second grade, I could have named every player on the Brewers and the top prospects for good measure.

Michael Jackson, though? Completely stumped.

Freshman year of high school, a feeling of pure terror. During an English class, the teacher asked us to name our favorite song.

I knew a few songs by then, but not many.

Fortunately, I didn’t have to go first and used the time to think. Could I say, “Take Me Out to the Ball Game? What about “Roll out the Barrel”? Or, “I’m A Believer,” the song they played right after Brewers’ victories. I only later learned it was not sung by Bernie Brewer but The Monkees – (kidding, mostly).

All of those choices seemed a stretch. Then, for some reason a song I heard recently popped in my head. In one listen, the song grabbed me, the evocative lyrics spoke to me, made me want to visit a city in Tennessee.

So I answered “Walking in Memphis” by Marc Cohn; no one in my class had heard of it.

I drew blank looks while my race reddened. Fortunately, no one paid too much attention to my choice. Soon, we were onto the next kid.

Sophomore year of college at Indiana University, off to see Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers, my first real concert. I drove back to Bloomington later that night inspired. While I never became particularly knowledgeable about music, I started buying CDs and attending shows. Over the years, I saw Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers U2, Billy Joel, and Dave Matthews Band multiple times.

First job out of college, I discovered Bruce Springsteen and was never the same. Saw Bruce and the E Street Band more than ten times and wore out his CDs.

While I never figured out dancing, I found my musical voice. Not singing myself, thank heavens, but knowing what I liked and enjoying and appreciating the power of music.

Today, if you asked me to pick out a favorite song, the hard part would be narrowing it down instead of searching for a real song that I could name.

You know what, though. While it’s not my all-time favorite anymore, my selection of “Walking in Memphis” actually holds up pretty well.

Through some online research, I recently learned a bit of the song’s fascinating backstory.

At age 28, Cohn, was still looking for his first recording contract. He felt time slipping away. Then, he read an interview where James Taylor recommended traveling to spark songwriting ideas.

Cohn had always wanted to visit Memphis and off he went.

In Memphis, he met many of the people and places he introduced in his “100 percent biographical” song – Reverend Al Green, Muriel Wilkins, the Hollywood Café. He saw Green preach and described it this way. “The service was so deeply moving that I found myself with sweat running down my face and tears in my eyes, totally enveloped by everything I was seeing.”

From there, he went to the Hollywood Cafe where he befriended Muriel, who was singing gospel songs. They started talking, and Cohn opened about the passing of his parents, who had both died when he was a child. She invited him on stage to sing with her and they closed the night with “Amazing Grace.” She then whispered in his ear, ‘child, you can let go now.’ “It was an incredibly maternal thing for her to say to me. … It was almost as if my mother was whispering in my ear,” Cohn said.

Cohn returned to New York City, knowing he had a song in his head. That trip and those experiences gave us “Walking in Memphis.”

Some musicians resent playing their biggest hit or grow to hate the song. This is anything but the case with Cohn.

In a funny, touching and inspirational preamble to “Walking in Memphis” at the Cornbury Music Festival in 2018, Cohn said, “over the years people ask me if I’m tired of playing that song – not even close. It’s a song essentially, even though it was about a personal journey, about the transformational power of music, and that’s something I could sing about until I drop dead in my boots. That’s why you’re here, and why I’m here, to be transformed by the power of music. It’s a mighty thing.”

For more of Cohn’s eloquence, let’s go to Tennessee and let him walk us off with "Walking in Memphis."