The Five For May 8, 2020 – Story Problems, Hot Sauce, MJ and Yelich

1. Three words I never thought Liam would say? “Yay, story problems.” Somehow, a son of mine strung those five syllables together earlier this week. Bravo. Quantum physics and organic chemistry next!

2.  What a fun article about hot sauce. The comments are gold; so much so, that instead of picking out the best five I’m going with a prime number (take that Liam … oh wait, five is a prime number, too).

·        “I think this sauce is made of pure unicorn love and mermaid tears.”

·        “It’s as if the sun and the moon made love and had a child.”

·        “Even in my tea it was pretty good.”

·        “At first, you can taste some of the sweet notes, but the heat is the protagonist and eventually takes over.”

·        “We use it almost every day, and after 3 years we just ran out.”

·        “I think you could put this on shoe leather and it would make it taste like filet mignon!”

·        “Gone are the days of not slathering my food in condiment until I have a delicious pile of Secret Aardvark Sauce with a bit of food thrown in for good measure.”

If you are a hot sauce aficionado, let me know if you have tried any of these or what your favorite hot sauce is. If you make a persuasive case, I might even share your recommendation in a future edition of Bobproof’s The Five. Which, as always, is compiled by the hard-working team at Bobproof and under no circumstances will ever be curated.

3. Like so many people, I find The Last Dance documentary on ESPN riveting. The 10-part series recounts Michael Jordan’s career with a focus on the 1997-98 season. The Bulls dominated my Bucks for so much of Jordan’s career, yet, when the Bucks season came to an end, I always pulled for Jordan and the Bulls.

4. If you are looking for an article on Michael Jordan at age 50, look no further than Wright Thompson’s deep dive, “Michael Jordan Has Not Left the Building.” From the story, “There’s no way to measure these things, but there’s a strong case to be made that Jordan is the most intense competitor on the planet. He’s in the conversation, at the very least, and now he has been reduced to grasping for outlets for this competitive rage. He’s in the middle of an epic game of Bejeweled on his iPad, and he’s moved past level 100, where he won the title Bejeweled Demigod. He mastered Sudoku. … In The Bahamas, he sent someone down to the Atlantis hotel’s gift shot to buy a book of word-search puzzles. … He can see all the words at once, as he used to see a basketball court.”

5. To kick-off a surreal Mother’s Day Weekend, check out the article from Christian Yelich’s for The Player’s Tribune. I love the line about Sour Patch Kids as much now as I did last year when I first read it. As he does so often for the Brew Crew, let's have Christian Walk Us Off.